My own private pantheon

noun pan-the-on
a temple dedicated to all the gods

I have a regular Mount Olympus in my mind. All the gods of me are constantly arguing, gambling and wreaking havoc in my tiny temple. I need them to get along and play nicely with each other so I can make some real progress in my life.

That’s where the Game of Thrones comes in. Obvi. Right?

Reading the GoT series, I kind of adopted the concept of the Seven. For non-GoT folks, there are three competing religions in the books; one dedicated to the Old Gods, one for the Seven and one for R’hollor. The Old Gods are worshiped in groves of trees by people who keep to the old ways. R’hollor is the new kid on the block, doesn’t have a lot of converts yet but he really likes to set things  on fire, so I imagine folks will come around in time.

The Seven are the gods of the city folk; clean and tidy. Seven different aspects of god so you can label and address your specific prayers with precision, making sure that they are handled as efficiently as possible. Of course, George R.R. Martin’s Seven (Father, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Warrior, Smith and Stranger) don’t suit me exactly, so I made some adaptations and applied the concept to the many aspects of my life. It works fairly well.

So meet my Gods.

Parent – I’ve been working with this one a lot lately, she’s important but she’s been programmed badly and needs a lot of support. Unfortunately for me, this voice in my head usually sounds like my stepmother and it’s not pretty. I’m learning to soften her voice and attitude and allow her to support me instead of belittle me. It’s not easy, but the little glimpses I get when she’s working well are well worth it!

Child – By making my parent genderless, I freed up a spot for the divine child in my mental Asgard. So many long years of listening to my Parent berate and abuse me has done a lot of damage to that perfect, pure, divine being I was born as. When I want to strangle that 2 o’clock in the morning craving for ice cream is when I most need to keep reminding myself that my Child is to be honored and appreciated for what she is. I won’t get up for the ice cream, but I’ll engage that craving to see what it’s connected to and be gentle with myself for wanting a treat.

Lover – Who wants a maiden? They may as well be a child. Give me myself as a lover instead. Working with this energy isn’t easy for me, but it’s extremely important for my recovery from abuse. Lately I’ve been working on only touching myself lovingly and only with consent. It’s weird when you realize that you don’t always have your own complete, full consent to touch yourself, especially when you do it in aggressive ways. For example, I often rub my hands on my belly or thighs, or even pull at or pinch my rolls of fat as I mentally abuse myself over my weight or the shape of my body. Not OK. The Lover won’t have it. They love every blessed inch of me and, when I can summon them to intervene on my behalf, they stop the self-abuse and cherish me instead. It’s phenomenal.

Elder – I want to develop this aspect further. I feel closest to it when I meditate but even then, I fear I fall far short of the wisdom I seek.

Hero – I’m a pacifist from a long proud line of pacifists and while I appreciate the warrior energy concept, it doesn’t resonate with me very strongly. I’m much more the fairy tale type so Hero tales are right up my alley. Unfortunately for me, I’ve recently realized that I’ve spent my entire life on the path of the classic Heroine and not the Hero. This isn’t a case where gender doesn’t matter either. Heroines are not Heroes, they tend to be codependent, obedient, weak and, more often than not, merely exist to support the Hero in his quest for fame and glory. Lame.
I want a Hero story all my own where I am strong and lucky and clever and get what I want instead of only helping everyone else get what they want and accepting the scraps they offer me as “good enough”.

Mistress – I toyed with calling this one the Laborer, Worker, Builder, Soldier, Master… this works for me – your mileage may, of course, vary. She’s new. Mostly because I’ve had few projects to set her on in my life. Now that I’m becoming more familiar with her I feel she’s going to be my best tool for creating positive changes in my life. If only I can learn how to keep her supported and balanced with the other aspects.

Stranger – I stole this one whole cloth from the source material because I like the concept of a shadow god right in the mix with the rest. Of course my dark side is seated at the round table in my grey matter. I can’t pretend that it doesn’t exist, better to honor and worship and balance my animal urges with my higher ones. Today’s stranger is often tomorrow’s friend, after all.

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