Before Faerin died I watched a lot of Netflix. I was actually re-watching The United States of Tara when the police arrived that night.
I don’t watch much anymore. I end up in the Documentaries when I do and I find that YouTube tends to have more diverse content with less padding. What I’m trying to say is that I now watch a lot of TEDtalks.
I think I was watching Marisa Peer’s Afest talk when Christie Marie Sheldon’s showed up in my sidebar. Within the first 10 seconds my jaw was on the floor. After the first minute I was hooked, and just a little upset. How did this woman get my superpower?
I swear, if I knew that The All That Is (TATI) was handing out that ability I would have been camped out in that line. How did I miss the fact that such a thing is even possible? I must have known because I’ve always wanted to do this, I just didn’t know that I could. Now that the cat is out of the bag I’m on it!
I purchased two of Christie’s courses – Love or Above and Unlimited Abundance. I’m working my way through both of them now. I’m having a minor struggle with her presentation, especially when it comes to her meditations. Her information is good, a little woo-woo for my tastes, but if she gets results I think she’s entitled to a little woo here and there.
It’s her voice. I’m going to record my own versions of her meditations to use because I know I can use these thoughts, but not as they are being presented.
Wish me luck. I’ll post one or two if folks seem interested.
I was in the mall the other day. I don’t really go to the mall anymore. I used to go with Faerin and watch her try on outfit after outfit. I would occasionally peek in the “plus size” section to see if anything didn’t look like a gaudy, deflated hot air balloon. Just looking at the clothing in my size was depressing, so I’d watch Faerin try on cute outfits and make the most of it.
But now, there’s no Faerin to watch. It’s just me and the racks of billowing mumus and a persistent hollow feeling in my heart whenever I walk past something she might have liked.
But this trip was different. With my friend by my side we laughed and I forgot to miss my daughter for one glorious moment in time.
We ambled over to the plus sized section and she casually asked, “What size are you now?”, a legitimate question as I’ve lost a couple of sizes since Faerin died.
“I’m a size perfect”
It was casual, thoughtless even. But absolutely perfect. We laughed and bantered about it for a bit before moving on to accessories, but it stuck with me. No more numbers, no more shame, just my own size perfect. I held my head a little higher just thinking it.
“I’m a size perfect”
It came back to me the next morning and I took a little extra care as I dressed my size perfect body for the day. I felt lighter in my mind and my body.
As I walked around in my size perfect body I noticed some things:
I have an extra spring in my size perfect feet
The clothes that feel good and look good on my size perfect body are easier to sort from the clothes that don’t
I take my size perfect body to the gym when I want, stay home and dance when I want and stay on the couch when I want
I look people in the eyes and smile more
I see other people ALL have size perfect bodies too and I appreciate them all